My Village

My only child graduated from high school earlier this month. My son lives with me and only me since he was 10 (as you keep reading you will understand that statement), now he still spent weekends with his dad and would occasionally spend the night with other family members. The first two years of my sons life we lived with my mom. We lived on our own for about two years and ended up back with my mom (no shame life happens) after like two years. We stayed with her another two years (we were living with her when he started 5K) then we set out on our again this time I think we lived out on own for about three years. All during this time though my son had regular weekend visits with his dad and he spent summer vacations with him also. I can’t remember how the decision was made but third grade year my son went to live with his dad and I went back with my mom. Please be patient with me. I stayed there and saved money to buy a home. I would go see my son during the week and have him on the weekends. I feel like it was during this time his dad really figured out co-parenting. He now saw how difficult and expensive it was to be with our son everyday. I finally purchased my home in April of 2010. That fall my son came back to live with me and we have been here every since (thank God🙏🏾) . The weekend and summer visits resumed with his dad. They did that until my son was 16 and he was too busy with activities and working to on the weekend but he would go occasionally. He still saw his father just not as often.img_0762

I wanted to give that background because someone referenced me raising my son alone and that could be further from the truth. We had struggles best believe, his dad and didn’t always see eye to eye on financial support but I never once denied him access to his son. When we lived with my mom she took him daycare many mornings when he was small because I would be at work. She also made sure he had dinner and bath if I was working. When he was in middle school he went to her house after school. My sons has three aunts there are times they had to pick him up from school or he stayed with them while his dad and I were working. My village was to strong for some one to try to make it seem as though I got my son through school without the help of others. Also not because there is anything wrong being a single mom I just never wanted to viewed that way. I’m so thankful for our village and there is nothing wrong with being a mother and accepting help from friends and family members. Having people around can help you and your child. If you have a village make sure you include them in your child’s accomplishments and celebrations. Also most definitely if you are mom and doing most of the heavy lifting you deserve to be celebrated but just don’t forget acknowledge the help you received also. img_0782

Summer 2018

Finally it’s officially summer! I have a few things that I want to do this summer my 2018 summer bucket list you can call it.

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Photo by nappy on Pexels.com
  • Read a great summer romance book
  • Try a  new recipe using a vegetables from my garden
  • Attend a food truck event
  • Visit the beach
  • Catch a summer blockbuster movie img_0783

That’s just some of the things I want to do this summer hopefully I can check them all off. What do you have on your summer bucket list!

 

The Autobiography of Gucci Mane

The jacket states “for the first time Gucci Mane tells his extraordinary story in his own words.”  The first part of the autobiography I feel we really get that. Gucci discusses his family and those relationships from when he was in Alabama and then after his move to Atlanta. Gucci does go into details about his steps to becoming a rap artist and troubles with law. He speaks candidly about his time in solitary confinement and the effects it had on him. He also went it to detail about his drug use and how it effected his body and personality.

Gucci does discuss some beefs and issues he had with people in the music business but I would have loved to read more about his family relationships. He mentions his mother and brother occasionally in passing after the first act but not much. He also mentions a son that we don’t read about again until the last chapter. Gucci talks about meeting Keisha and how they were kind of off again on again due to his drug use but that is basically the only look we get into the relationship. Maybe they didn’t want the book too long and it is definitely and easy read.

Overall I enjoyed the autobiography but I just would have liked Gucci to go deeper. I do recommend this especially if you are a child of hip hop or just enjoy taking a peek into the rap lifestyle.

Mid-life what? 30 days to 40

This is my birthday month. I will be 40 on April 30. I don’t feel 40 most days and let the world tell it I don’t look 40 either. My thirties have not been bad to me when I started writing this I was thinking about all of the things that I hadn’t accomplished but really I have been pretty kick ass the past ten years ( give me a moment I’m going to count my blessings). However, not matter what the song says age can be a factor in life.

I don’t feel rushed to necessarily be in certain place but my 40th birthday is also the same year my only child will be leaving for his freshman year of college. Can someone say empty nest. I didn’t see myself being an empty-nester at 40 I thought I would have more than one child but that hasn’t been in the cards for me. I’m not married or even have a prospect of a mate so the romantic part of my life isn’t where I thought it would be either. So I’m going to pretend I don’t feel some anxiety about turning 40, because I definitely do. I’m taking this month to figure out some goals for the next five to ten years so that during this next decade I will experience some additional personal, mental and emotional growth. I also would like financial growth as well.

Psalm 71:18-19 Don’t leave me when I’m old and my hair turns gray. Let me tell future generations about your might power. Your deeds of kindness are known in the heavens. No one is like you!

I will being doing a journey to 40 this month I will either be updating via the blog or Instagram. It maybe a picture, scripture, musing or something that has meant something to me in my life! #30daysto40

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#MarchMysteryMadness Wrap-Up

I was excited for the #MarchMysteryMadness reading challenge. I have wanted to read more African-American mystery writers and this month gave me an excuse to do just that. I will start with my favorite which was Blanche Among the Talented Tenth. I read the first book in the Blanche White series last year and wasn’t impressed. I wasn’t going to read anymore in the series but I’m glad I gave second book a chance. The second book in the Blanche White series was sooo good. It tackles the topic of colorism, romance and friendships in the black community. A little mystery is also tied in but it doesn’t overwhelm the story and it is tied in slowly. My second favorite was Forty Acres it is about an upcoming black attorney, Martin Grey, who is invited to join a secret society with other black men. They take a trip that exposes Martin to the truth behind their group. I think this would have been better as series because the third act could have used some additional development it just felt rushed to end. I still enjoyed the premise and was a fresh concept. Murder with Fried Chicken and Waffles was an easy read but some of the plot just wasn’t believable and the decisions that were made were silly. This is the first book in the Mahalia Watkins series not sure if I will be reading any of the other books but you never. I started The Cutting Season but haven’t been able to finish it I may try to finish it in April. I checked all the copies out from my local library. I listened to Kindred by Octavia Butler this isn’t a traditional mystery but it was definitely terrifying what Dana(the main character) experienced. I’m sure you have heard of Octavia Butler if not please check her out. In Kindred Dana is bouncing between 1976 and a period of time during slavery. That is all I will say but yeah you see why it can could be terrifying. These were my reads for #MarchMysteryMadness. I look forward to participating again next year and finding some new authors to enjoy.

Happy reading!

New Season Now What Natural Hair Edition

Spring has sprung some what so now is the time to start thinking about prepping hair for warmer weather. The first thing for me is a good clarification treatment. I prefer to use bentonite clay and apple cider vinegar but regular clarifying shampoo should do the trick to get rid of build up. A good trim or even a new hair cut is good add some freshness to your look and make the styling process easier. These two things will get your hair spring and summer ready, but if you want to add some flair think of getting some color. The color can be as simple as black rinse or a vibrant purple that is currently the color of the season. What are you doing to get your natural hair ready for the new season? pexels-photo-573317.jpeg