My only child graduated from high school earlier this month. My son lives with me and only me since he was 10 (as you keep reading you will understand that statement), now he still spent weekends with his dad and would occasionally spend the night with other family members. The first two years of my sons life we lived with my mom. We lived on our own for about two years and ended up back with my mom (no shame life happens) after like two years. We stayed with her another two years (we were living with her when he started 5K) then we set out on our again this time I think we lived out on own for about three years. All during this time though my son had regular weekend visits with his dad and he spent summer vacations with him also. I can’t remember how the decision was made but third grade year my son went to live with his dad and I went back with my mom. Please be patient with me. I stayed there and saved money to buy a home. I would go see my son during the week and have him on the weekends. I feel like it was during this time his dad really figured out co-parenting. He now saw how difficult and expensive it was to be with our son everyday. I finally purchased my home in April of 2010. That fall my son came back to live with me and we have been here every since (thank God🙏🏾) . The weekend and summer visits resumed with his dad. They did that until my son was 16 and he was too busy with activities and working to on the weekend but he would go occasionally. He still saw his father just not as often.
I wanted to give that background because someone referenced me raising my son alone and that could be further from the truth. We had struggles best believe, his dad and didn’t always see eye to eye on financial support but I never once denied him access to his son. When we lived with my mom she took him daycare many mornings when he was small because I would be at work. She also made sure he had dinner and bath if I was working. When he was in middle school he went to her house after school. My sons has three aunts there are times they had to pick him up from school or he stayed with them while his dad and I were working. My village was to strong for some one to try to make it seem as though I got my son through school without the help of others. Also not because there is anything wrong being a single mom I just never wanted to viewed that way. I’m so thankful for our village and there is nothing wrong with being a mother and accepting help from friends and family members. Having people around can help you and your child. If you have a village make sure you include them in your child’s accomplishments and celebrations. Also most definitely if you are mom and doing most of the heavy lifting you deserve to be celebrated but just don’t forget acknowledge the help you received also.
Leave a Reply